9.19.2011

Extremism

Sometimes Chris and I tend to run a little extreme. Besides being extremely attractive and extremely well liked, we also have some extreme views. And don't mind that our intense opinions jump between fads as fast as you can say fickle. We're all over the place and this week was no exception.

Forks Over Knives 

Chris and I are big into documentaries. Not only do they add fuel to our conspiracy theories (which frightens my dad), they are the only thing worth watching on Netflix. Last Sunday, Chris and I enjoyed dinner and the movie Forks Over Knives. We ate our pitifully off-balanced meal of steak and a few sorry slices of buttered up zucchini while watching how meat and animal bi-products cause disease whereas plants reverse the damage. 

There we were with hunks of meat sitting in our stomachs when Chris turned to me and suggested we try a vegan diet for a month. We didn't even make it a day before he amended the conditions and shaved it down to a vegetarian diet for 2 weeks. We made it 5 days. Like I said--we are extreme, and extremely fickle, but that's usually what it takes just to drag us to the middle of the road--going wayyy to one side, then wayyy to the other, then finding a happy medium. But we have been eating healthier, Chris has stopped drinking soda, and we both went jogging tonight. Besides, our fridge got a glorious makeover when Chris was still in his fanatical stage and stocked up on $70 worth of organic veggies.

The U.F.O. 

I love driving westward at night because I always end up trailing behind a line of three or more planes also heading west toward the airport. Most people wouldn't find this interesting, but hey... I grew up on a farm. Planes were far and few between and usually maxed out at 35,000 feet. 

Anyhow, I'm a big night sky observer because of this plane business and noticed a cluster of planes coming from the opposite direction on Saturday night. Only what I saw was grouped all bizarre, didn't have blinking lights, looked orb like, and would flicker on and off, only to trigger the illumination of neighboring orbs. 

At first, I jokingly commented, "Woah, check out those weird planes. They're probably UFO's." Chris agreed... and then we flipped out. I was screaming for him to pull over so we could watch this rare phenomenon but there was a house blocking our view so he crossed the median and drove into 3 lanes of oncoming traffic and eventually ended up screeching into some vacant parking lot as the last orb extinguished. Hubbie wanted to call the cops and report what we saw but I didn't think the authorities would find U.F.O.'s 911 worthy. Besides, I want to be a reputable source when I call in with incidences--I can't go tainting my good name. But we did check out latest-ufo-sightings.net and Emily from Gilbert reported seeing the same thing so we aren't the only wack-a-doos out there--Chris and I are among friends. Ooooohhhheeeeeeooooohhhh. 

Trash Truck

Scenario: You are driving along side a vehicle when the passenger rolls down his window and blatantly chucks out a bag of trash. But wait--the bozo is in a company car that has a big vehicle i.d. number on the side. Do you call the company and snitch on their idiot employee? Is that too extreme? I wimped out, but now I feel lame for not following through. Littering is just so lazy. To call or not to call? Your call--so submit your votes. 

Copper Chopper

The other night Chris and I were enjoying a little midnight stroll in our classy, super-safe-to-be-out-past-dark neighborhood (false) when our good old friend, the police helicopter (a.k.a. The Copper Chopper), made his almost nightly appearance circling the block. 

Anyhow, I was wondering what it would feel like to be spotlighted and apparently we looked suspicious enough because we got beamed. I beamed back with my smile (I have very reflective teeth) and gave them a big wave. I guess the cops didn't find me amusing because they gave up on finding whatever creeper they were looking for. Oh that's cool. We love it when the forensics van shows up a block from our house because you never found the felon. Don't let me stop you.