As of Late

Chris and I have been very busy as of late. Chris has begun juggling full time school and work and me... just work--it's still a juggle. But that's all relatively boring, so although we have had to kiss our late nights and carefree days goodbye, we have had some interesting occurrences worth noting. Calling them interesting is probably a bit of a stretch, so work with me. (Apparently with responsibility comes great boredom).

1. Gammit - On Thursday there was about a half gallon of drippings in my crock pot from a pork I cooked the night before. Not knowing what to do with it (we don't have a garbage disposal and can't eat that much gravy), poured it on the grass in our yard. I'm pretty sure that we attracted every stray cat within a 2 mile radius. Our friends even spotted a family of kittens eating the grass. Anyhow, we got in trouble with our landlord for feeding stray animals, so now Gammit is no longer Gammit. I took away his bowl and he has gone back to being the same nameless, homeless, foodless kitty that he was before. Good bye No Name. And goodbye no name kittens. Good night moon and red balloon...

2. Creepy Crawlers - In addition to stray cats, we seem to be attracting creepy crawlers. We have had a bug-free record since we moved in and WHAM! Double bug attack on Thursday!

Chris and I were in the bathroom getting ready for bed and he said, "Tori, don't look at the tub" so, naturally, I looked, and... La Cucaracha! I got so creeped/freaked out that I accidentally scratched Chris, so in addition to cleaning up Chris' blood, we had to drown this nasty crusty dude and all 4 of his wiggly antennas in toilet cleaner.

Then... there was this beetle of unnatural proportions on our porch, and then... there was this sick bug that flew onto my bed the other night. Chris was zonked like a zombie so I had to put it outside. So much for priding ourselves on being bug-less people


3. Harry Pottie - Chris and I absolutely love, love Harry Potter. We are going to change our names to Ginny and Harry and live in England and open a pub called the Leaky Cauldron. Anyhow, we are extremely excited for part one of the seventh movie to premier in November. We totally plan on dressing up. Anyhow, in preparation for the upcoming film, Chris and I have been trying to read Harry Potter #1-7 before November. Quite a feat at 4,099 total pages. I think I'm only 750 pages in. Gulp. But since Chris and I don't have a TV I have lots of time to devote to reading... and blogging.

4. True Love - In addition to everything else, Chris shaved evidence of his undying love for me on his chest. Original alternative to a tattoo. And no, he is not growing a sick mustache (it's the photo). Chest art is one thing--mustaches are another.

5. The Cart - I wore a pair of terribly wicked high heels to work today which turned out to be a bad idea since I was on my feet for eight hours straight. Anyhow, after work I needed to make a stop at Wal-Mart but was not about to spend another 30 minutes on my already battered feet, so I succumbed and used the store's complimentary scooter. Kind of lame to be completely able bodied and zooming around in this little electric cart, but it was either that, or Wal-Mart was not going to get my business (although I'm sure they could care less about my $30 purchase). Somehow, this small decision turned into a very long and awkward internal debate that lasted the duration of my shopping experience.

I would pull up next to an item which, more often than not,was stocked on the very top shelf. I was faced with all of these conflicting decisions: Do I just stand up, walk over to the product, pull it off the shelf, and sit back down in my scooter while running the risk offending someone who is in a wheelchair? Do I ask someone to get it for me? Should make a second Wal-Mart trip tomorrow just to get top shelf items? Why are people looking at me that way? Maybe because they feel awkward about my handicap... or maybe it's because they busted me and know I'm not handicapped!

I eventually became so worried about maintaining the image of a handicapped girl that I actually made my legs look kind of dead and I would limp around when I had to walk. At the time it seemed like a better alternative than the, I-know-you-can-walk-just-fine-and-are-taking-advantage-of-the-motorized-carts look. It was exhausting.

On top of all this internal confusion, I'm in the cereal isle, barely creeping along in this turtle slow cart when some 50 year-old creeper turned to me and said, "Wow! Hot chick in a scooter! How does that work?"

Uuuhhhh.... excuse me? What does that even mean? I tried to roll away as fast as I could but topped out at 1 mph which led to another internal debate, "Ditch the cart and get out of the cereal isle, or keep on rolling and risk the chance that he will try to talk to me?"

By the time I made it to checkout there was hurricane/monsoon raging outside. It wasn't raining... it was dumping, and what was dumping was coming in at a 45 degree angle. Needless to say, by that point it wasn't a tough choice to ditch the scooter.

The rain took a toll on our flag and a few of our trees, but only when it rains in the summer does the grass look "grass green" and the temperature drops below 85 degrees for an hour or so. Not a terrible trade if you look at the bright side.

More later from Chris and Tori!


  1. This post was CLASSIC. Seriously, it made my day! I died laughing about your scooter crisis! I would have LOVED to have seen that! Love you! xo

  2. Haha! Just imagining you doing this made me laugh so hard! That would have been a tough internal debate!

  3. Tori I was crying I was laughing so hard. I have always been annoyed at those people who take up space in the aisles with the store’s complimentary scooter when I know they are perfectly able to walk - but I think you have taught me I should have more sympathy. I would have done the same as you, limped really bad and looked like I was in a lot of pain. But with the really wicked high heals you probably weren't helping your cause much. People might have known it was self-inflicted. Whatever the case, I promise you all that debate was worth this story!

  4. Tori, I just read this to my mom, and we seriously died. Again. We were crying, no exaggeration. Love you!

  5. Haha. I'm glad this post was a hit. I was starting to think--maybe I shouldn't put such weird personal info on the internet. They might lock me away!

  6. Please keep posting! this is the stuff you could publish and make a million bucks and then they would make a movie about you! Besides people (me) in small towns need some amusement in life. :)